December 2011
20 posts
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Sometimes I want to kill everybody who doesn't...
Biting my tongue is getting really tiresome.
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“Aw, you’re so sweet, always whipping it out for me!”
– Publix cashier after I handed her my ID while buying beer. I laughed, and so did the bag boy. She didn’t get it.
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“Happy Boxing Day!!!”
– What I said to every one of my customers today. I got a lot of confused looks and/or questions.
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Christmas chats
Sister: I didn't get you anything for Christmas.
Me: Same!
[we high five]
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Knife Party - Internet Friends
My warning to all...
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Chats at work
Couple buying an iPad: This is so exciting! It’s like bringing home a new baby! Hahahaha!
Me: Yeah, but way better.
Couple: (They laugh)
Me:
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The other day
this 70-something-year-old customer came in, a regular that I know by name. As he starts to tell me whatever problem he had with whatever device, a piece of corn or some other food he was eating earlier fell out of his mouth and hung on his bottom lip, not unlike Lindsay Lohan desperately clinging on to her relevancy. I almost dry-heaved at the sight of it and quickly ushered him in the direction...
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A cashier said I looked "about twelve" last night...
Ouch.
“Don’t drink when you’re young! Because then you’ll have...”
– A (probably drunk) customer
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I kind of want to get some tattoos
sheerly for the reason that they look so cool. I feel like a teenager for saying this but whenever I see someone with a visible tattoo, no matter what it is, I’m like, oh, that person is cool, because they have a tattoo, and yeah, they’re going to get old and they’ll still have those tats in like 40 years, but that’s what’s so cool about them, because they don’t...